ChaosLife - Unshared Experience

Read other ChaosLife comics and more here: [link]

From the blog commentary below the comic:

"Note: Just because you’ve never experienced something doesn’t mean it’s non-existent.

Unfortunately, this kind of thing does happen to us: both the homophobic remarks/threats and the complete lack of understanding. Too many times we’ve had bad experiences in stores, restaurants and out in public, only to be told that people doubt us or have never experienced anything like that themselves, so obviously it must be some other reason that x is calling us dykes, or telling us that they ‘don’t like our kind shopping/eating here’! Huh.

People will often do this with places or people they enjoy and don’t want to quit supporting because of another’s negative experience. It’s hurtful and unfair to resort to victim-blaming to offset your own discomfort with the situation. Imagine if you had been the subject of such mistreatment and how much worse you would feel. If you choose to enjoy something despite another’s negative experience, that is your right, but don’t go out of your way to discredit someone just to try to justify yourself or your actions.

A good rule of thumb is that if you weren’t there, never begin a reply with “I can’t believe…” or “There’s no way he/she/they…”

I’m sorry, you’re wrong. The person who experienced the hateful words or actions is right, because they are relating an experience they had. If you weren’t party to it, then you are only adding a subjective voice. And you’re just being even more offensive and negative on top of all of it. Especially if you’re a friend or relative, they are likely coming to you for support, not skepticism.

A lot of people have to deal with this kind of victim-blaming censorship (POC as a recent example) and general mistrust of issues the majority aren’t a part of and probably never will be. Unfortunately, the LGBTQ community isn’t the first to experience it and they won’t be the last. Let’s try to change our bad habits now.

Thanks for reading this rather serious note! We have faith that the vast majority of you lovely readers aren’t the perpetrators of this behavior, but if you know someone who is, feel free to point them this way for a lil’ FYI."